is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
