do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
