I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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