Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
