She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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