got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
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i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
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Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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