i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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