its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
where am i from again
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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