help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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