that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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