Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
