he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
