I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
