Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
