I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
