she was so not down for the gang bang
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
