it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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