so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
