I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
