I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
