All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
