just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
