my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
