Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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