You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
