True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize