don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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