so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
