She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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