shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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