No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
