Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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