i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
