Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
