very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
