Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
