Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
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He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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