I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize