I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
