so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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