just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she looked like the before picture.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Someone shattered a urinal.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
