nut hugger
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
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You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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