I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
