he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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