Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.

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(254): View more from Texas

Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.

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(850): View more from Florida

when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?

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(540): View more from Virginia

Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(603): View more from New Hampshire

You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"

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(905): View more from Ontario

while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"

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(513): View more from Ohio

I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"

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(862): View more from New Jersey

Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.

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