yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
