They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.