It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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