So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
