i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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