Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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