at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
