doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
