Plan B is the new Plan A
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
