a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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