So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
