Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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