I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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