sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize