i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize